when life requires a new surrender
trusting in what only you can see.
When life took a different turn and I was being ushered onto a different path the view in front of me was vast and vastly different to any view of my life I had had before.
It was hard to believe how I was going to meet the me I could see in the distance. It felt like a chasm between me and the future me, and a leap perhaps too wide for my legs to jump; the journey of a superhero. But whenever I would feel into this vision and let myself dream into its future spaces, there was this deep rich well of knowing inside my belly that came beating up through my chest.
So how do you hold a vision for the future while your day to day life is really something far different?
From where I stood I could not see the terrain of the path ahead. I did not know of the bushes and branches that threatened to block my way. I couldn’t see the deep muddy patches that could keep me stuck for days. I could not see the twists and turns that seemed to be leading me backwards. The only thing I did know, was that this path ahead was on a steep incline from where I was standing. It was going to take a whole new operating system inside of me to meet what lay ahead and a whole lot of extra energy.
I’d had a decade long meditation practice by this point. Meditation was ground into the beginning of my day like a meal time schedule. It was sustenance, fuel and a loving embrace that had carved out deep meaning and purpose into my days through a disciplined practice for the longest time. It was my devotional act of love for higher forces, for the unseen, for perfection in an imperfect world. But, when life took me on a new path, this private act of devotion got tugged on like no tomorrow and an invitation into a greater act of surrender was needed.
While life crumbled and transformed before me, could I truly trust myself and was I going to be held and led by God in all the many things??
During my meditations I would ask this question over again and the answer was always the same. There was always a pause and the reply was never what I expected, as it never is. There was no “Yes of course my dear”. Every time, it was like a raucous celebration of streamers, party poppers and a glowing space where every star in the universe came out to shine upon me. The celebration would explode above me and all around me like an out of hand teenage situation, raining over my body again and again and lighting up my heart like a Care Bear to make sure I was really getting the message. This is truly what happens in the space when you begin to say yes to what life wants for you and no to the cage. Yes to the path and no to something that no longer fits. This is what happens, when you begin to truly surrender in the biggest way you have ever done and you begin to let go, to a greater power to lead the way.
My full-time job now became learning how to bridge a belief gap inside of myself so I could hold this new level of trust and the deep dive of surrender being asked of me. To be honest, this hit up against all my limitations and has taken me time to stabalise within myself. It was asking me to dig extremely deep, to expand my capacity to trust in myself in a way that was beyond where I gone before. It was asking me to surrender control, let go of beliefs I had held onto for safety and also let go of the visions of life that had made sense to me and given me, what I thought, was a place in the world.
I have had to let go of the ideas of how life worked, what matters and why and lean into the spiritual ache inside my heart like everything depended on it. I have let go of many ideas of who I thought I was in the world and so much of the constraints surrounding what I could and could not do to follow my knowing, my truth and to follow my pursuit for peace. I had to choose my determination over any experience that was happening in my life, over and over again. I had to trust in what only I could see.
In order to pursue your own truth you too have to, and must, become entirely focused on that; YOUR TRUTH. No one else's. The direction you are going in, what you are creating, what you are working with and nothing else. Every single day there will be many things that may threaten the journey on your path, that challenge you, or even actively bring you down, but your job is to determine and reinforce your energy, your body and your mind to stay on track and follow YOUR guidance, even if you don’t understand it, know where it is going or think it’s not meant for you. You must become so entranced with your own energy, so focused on your connection to truth, so aligned with your own guidance, that you can hold yourself through any daily storm. It takes practice, self trust, perseverance and integrity every single day and a surrender to the guidance of higher forces in a way that deep down, if you are really honest, you know feels right, even if some people will think you are making really bad life choices.
Maybe something is changing in your life or you know change is required in your life but you can’t put a finger on it. Sometimes we can’t, at first. This is one of the many reasons I am running an online alignment workshop and meditation on the day of the solstice. Will you be joining me?
The only constant in life is change, but we are taught to sever our connection to these natural cycles and cling onto things in our life through fear and insecurity. The solstice is a massive opportunity to realign your life with an acceleration mechanism embedded into the cosmic forces of rebirth. It has the power to propel you into self leadership and is a massive opportunity for you to let go and follow your soul's desires.
Know that whatever you are going through right now, or wherever you are in the world, the time of solstice is here to inspire you and to bathe you in the light of grace. I want to make the most of this powerful energy and I’d love to share it with you in a powerful group practice.
Saturday 21st June
7.30-9am ACST
6pm EST (20th June)
11pm BST (20th June)
Replays are available if you can’t be there Live.
If you are keen to journey with me through one of my mentoring programs, spots are open and already filling it seems, for the JULY LEAP PROGRAM.
There are only 3 spots left.
You can check it out through instagram or hit reply to this email and we can begin a conversation about how this can accelerate the changes you feel almost ready to make in your life… Let’s go.